I AM NOT NEGLECTING YOU.  I promise.  I have just been temporarily rendered undead by a terrific cold, and I have not cooked anything worthwhile lately.  I could upload a picture of onions that I sliced, but that seems gratuitous.

There seems to be a very obvious trend in my cooking lately:  I make lots of new, weird hamburgers, and cook an almost obsessive amount of lentils.  I probably need to be stopped.  In any case, a couple days ago I reaaaally started craving a Vietnamese sammich, a banh mi, which is traditionally made with pork and served on a baguette.  But I wanted lentils too!

Voila my lentil banh mi burger, another bastardization of someone else’s culture.  It’s also 100% vegetarian, and if you replace mayonnaise with something else that’s probably disgusting, it’ll be vegan, too.  You won’t miss the meat, I promise.

Lentil Banh Mi Burger
Serves 2.

For the burgers:

1/2 cup dried lentils
Kosher salt
1/2 onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
Pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
1 tbsp chopped fresh basil
1/3 cup plain dried bread crumbs or panko
1 tsp corn starch
2 1/2 tsp sugar
2 tsp fish sauce
2 tsp sriracha
1/2 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp rice vinegar

For the dressing:

2 tbsp mayonnaise
1-2 tsp sriracha (to taste)
2 tsp chopped scallions

Bring the lentils, 2 cups of water, and 1/2 tsp of salt to boil and cook until very very tender, about 20 minutes.  Meanwhile, saute the onion, garlic, and red pepper flakes in a little vegetable oil in a pan over medium-low heat until the onions are translucent and soft.  Do not let them brown.

Drain lentils and add to a medium bowl.  Add onion mixture, basil, bread crumbs, corn starch, sugar, fish sauce, sriracha, 1/2 tsp salt, and vinegar.  Using a potato masher, your hands, or anything similar, mash everything together until well combined and shape into two patties.  At this point, you can pop them in the fridge for a few minutes so they firm up.

Combine the mayo, sriracha, and scallions.  Set aside.  Heat some veggie oil in a large frying pan over medium to medium-high heat and fry the patties on both sides until brown and crunchy and yummy looking.  Slather some mayo on a hamburger bun, a crusty roll, toast, English muffin, etc, and then add a patty and enjoy!